ok, first of all im still a decent person and I'm not going to use any names in this little clip/journal/thingy.

And this goese out to one of my friends, (and you know who you are, and you better tell her not to write me a note, or I'll do something really unplesent to hurt both of us.)

Anyways, an ex-friend and i sorta did something that made me relive my past, and used the same exuses on me, saying it was just pratice. I tell you this now, These last few days I've been regreting it all! First I go along with it, and get uncomfortable, but I didn't stop it, and i hate myself for it...

I know this is hurting her to, because I know she doesn't want to losse me, because she still thinks I'm her friend, but after our little, "Pratice" I sorta hurt myself really bad. Bottom line is I'm trying to leave her so i don't hurt myself and her, because she hates it when I hurt myself. I just wish she would understand why I have to leave, and I made the misstake of telling another friend, and in my eyes she made it worse, It was a mistake I know, but I hate myself for all of it.

And now I'm going away for a month and won't be able to talk to eather of them, I'm kinda glad, and sad at the same time.

And I guesse I'm a little mad at my friends, because they keep on talking shit about this someone i really care about and I'm tired of it! It went like this. My special someone was texting my friend, and he asked her for something that wasnt very ladylike, she said no, but then text me and told me what he said. I then got ahold of him and he clams that it was his brother who asked, and I beleve him, because he posted a video on youtube, and said he loved me, and didnt want to losse me. But now my friend that his brother asked, went of telling my other friend what my special someone did! She complety ignored the fact that it was his brother, and not him! so now, my other friend is like, "Raylee, this dude isn't right. He's a sick ass perve, who just wants you for your body! I mean how can you take his word over ours! you've know us longer!." So anyways both of them have been giving me crap about him. Then last night my friend who i don't want to leave hitts me with, "Maybe it's not David your falling for maybe it's (my other friend) I'm in love with! I was being nice and didnt say anything back! But that comment pissed me off!

(and this goes to my friend, (you know who you are): Please don't get mad at me, but I just want to talk to diffrent people right now! Besides would you rather have me talk then hurt myself!?)

anyways, please give me some feed back, coz I really need it!!!

Thank you.